So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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