No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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