you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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