nut hugger
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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