also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
