That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Randomize
