laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
