your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
