i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
