The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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