He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
we made out on top of his cat.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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