You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
