I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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