yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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