Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
