Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
