is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
