Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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