I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
