It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
