I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
