Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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