he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
