Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
