I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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