): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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