i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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