He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
