I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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