guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Randomize
