Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
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