I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
