well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
