508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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