I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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