I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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