Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
