Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
