do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just got carded by a ten year old.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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