Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
