the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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