STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
