just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
