my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
