yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just forgot I was standing up.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
