imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
