so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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