So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
