I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
