she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
