people are starting to question the shark bite story
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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