WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
